Happy Sunday family!!! I clearly am not good at keeping at a consistent schedule, am I? When I tell you I have been busy...I have been busy. Did you catch the new moon on July 9th? Hopefully, you set some intentions and released all the crap in your life worth releasing. Typically for those of religious backgrounds, Sundays are the days to go to church and receive the word to begin their upcoming week, so I decided why wouldn't I do some preaching today? Y'all ready for today's word? Well, buckle up, and let's get into it!
Today's topic is Self Sabotage. The term seems pretty self-explanatory, but let me just break it down for those of us who are not quite sure if they can relate.
Self-sabotage occurs when we destroy ourselves physically, mentally, or emotionally or deliberately hinder our own success and wellbeing by undermining personal goals and values (Brenner, 2019).
Now, self-sabotage could be as small as limiting beliefs about ourselves, and as big as physical harm to ourselves. I have learned that a lot of our toxic behaviors stem from childhood situations that we weren't necessarily equipped to handle at that age to include situations where we could not or were not able to speak up for ourselves. So now, here we are, broken children masked as adults trying to cope with issues stemming from childhood that we never handled as children because we did not know any better.
Well, now we know better...right?!?!
Lisa Jeffs explains why we self sabotage below:
We lack self-worth – when we do not believe in ourselves we cannot achieve our goals. Included in self-confidence is our self-worth. If we constantly tell ourselves that we are not smart enough, qualified enough, or good enough to have what we want, we will act accordingly to what we are telling ourselves. The way we speak to ourselves matters and directly affects how we present ourselves to the world. When we don’t have confidence, we will do things to stop ourselves from achieving our fullest potential.
We fear success – When we have worked so hard for something our success can sometimes become a stressor. This often happens when we have a lack of self-confidence. We may worry that we truly aren’t qualified or prepared and that we will be exposed as a fraud. Our fear of success leads us to engage in behavior that limits our success. When we are getting close to achieving a goal we may start doing things take to stop us from achieving the goal. A business coach can help if you fear success in your career.
We want to place fault elsewhere – When we believe that we aren’t going to do well or will fail no matter what, we begin behaving in a way that ensures we will fail. When we think things like “I won’t get the contract anyways” we displace our responsibility in achieving our goals. When we do fail, because we already told ourselves we would, the blame can be transferred to someone else. We can justify procrastination or not preparing as we’ve already accepted that we won’t succeed.
We want control – We feel better when we feel like we are in control. By accepting a negative outcome ahead of time, we feel like we are in control even though it is not what we want to happen. We in effect control our failure when we apply this self-sabotaging behavior and thought patterns.
We fear failure – we fear that we will give all we have to a goal and still not be enough. It is easier to give yourself reasons as to why you failed than to truly give it your all and still not succeed. This is the most overwhelming reason why we self-sabotage.
Does this sound like you? We have to stop sabotaging ourselves. This includes relationships that seem "too good to be true", work situations, friendships, and self-love journeys. We are literally deserving of the best life has to offer, but we have to believe this. Believe it or not, our inner voice has a lot of power and has a lot to do with what we manifest. I have asked the universe to show me a lot of things these past six months, and boy did the universe come through in abundance. Have you noticed that when you have your mind stuck on something whether it be negative or positive, it more than likely will come to fruition? Do you realize how powerful that is and how amazing our lives would be if we put our thoughts to good use, and realized our worth? We have to believe we are amazing to our core, and this has to be an intrinsic action. Stop looking outward, for something that needs to come from us. Know you are amazing, and anyone who does not agree can hit the road. That's on that! Stop pretending you're okay, and start being intentional about healing and growing. Put yourself first! You are exactly where you were meant to be at this moment, and you're doing amazing. You are loved, you are healthy, and you are worthy. Forgive yourself.
Let me leave you with this, and I will continue next time with this thought.
Do you know who you are when everything is stripped away? The pain, the hurt, the grief, the bad experiences, the self-pity, the guilt, and the life lessons? Who are you?
While you think about that, check out some of my awesome photos from my explorations.
“Happiness turned to me and said — ‘It is time. It is time to forgive yourself for all of the things you did not become. It is time to exonerate yourself for all of the people you couldn’t save, for all of the fragile hearts you fumbled within the dark of your confusion. It is time, child, to accept that you do not have to be who you were a year ago, that you do not have to want the same things. Above all else, it is time to believe, with reckless abandon, that you are worthy of me, for I have been waiting for years.” — Bianca Sparacino
Comment below and let me know what you thought about this blog, and please share my blog with a friend. Let's expand the Nautical Tripper Family. Talk soon.
#breonnataylor #elijahmcclain #ahmaudarbery #OluwatoyinSalau #BraylaStone #MerciMack #ShakiiePeters #DrayaMcCary #TatianaHall #BreeBlack #blacklivesmatter #vanessaguillen #GeorgeFloyd #Soulfoodsunday #nauticaltripper #photography #selflove #blacktranslivesmatter #womenshistorymonth #allblacklivesmatter #juneteenth #blackwallstreet #blackhistory #defundthepolice